Scene #4.18

Kwamfundisi.

Umfundisi ubukele itivi kwindawo ehlala itivi. Ubambe iremote umane ecofa cofa engayazi ukuba makabukele ntoni kusini nha. Phambi kwakhe kukho i2litre ye lemon twist kunye nekomityi asela ngayo. Unotilili wephone ephambi kwakhe kunye nala blackberry phone yakhe intleke-ntleke. Kaloku, uThembela uyibethekise edongeni izolo. Unxibe iipijama zokulala umfo omkhulu. Usacingana neziphumo ezisuka eklinik, apho othuswe kukufumanisa ukuna unegciwane lengculaza. Suke wamana ukrikriza amazinyo akuyicinga lento unkabi. Amane eqhubeka eyicinga lento yenzeke ekuseni. 

Pastor: “Ndiyamsola kanye kanye lomfazi! Nguye lo undizisele lento! Uyajika utyhola mna! Uyabona! Indlela endinomsindo ngayo! Ukuba nje angandichukumisa! Kwek! Uyajika ngoku undityhola ngomntwana! Umntwana? Umithiswe ngubani lomfazi? Andimithisanga mntu mna! Kwaye kudala sagqibela ukulala sobabini! Ngoku, umithiswe ngubani yena? Khona, kutheni lento wasoloko wazivalela kula rum? Akavasi, akacoci, akaphumi, akapheki. Kwek, nayizolo ke uphantse wandibhaqa kuloThembela! Kwaye bendisayonwabele langquza ka Thembela maaaarn! Ey, nalephone yam imoshakele ngoku, andiyazin ukuba ndizakufumaneka phi ke ngoku. Kuba na lo tilili akavakali kakhulu”

Uphakamile waya ekhitshini, wapula ikomityi le asela ngayo idrinki. Namhlanje, noko kusacocekile kuba ooThembela bacocile izolo. Usazifuna kodwa umfundisi ukuba uThembela uze njani apha izolo kodwa umshiye enomsindokazi omkhulu. Ukuba bancokole ntoni kunye nomafundisi elixesha aklinayo akayazi. Kaloku, ube emxelele ukuba umama umfundisi ukhulelwe. Kwaye yena mfundisi akakholwa tu ukuba ngowakhe umntwana lo ukhulelwe ngulomfazi wakhe. Yayisuka ime ke ingqondo unkabi akufikelela kulomcimbi wengculaza. Asuke ame bhunxe, abile ngokukhawuleza uphopho inga kushushu kakhulu kodwa kuphole kamnandi.

Mamfundisi: “Ndilambile”
Pastor: “Ungatyi nje?”
Mamfundisi: “Ndenzele ukutya tyhini”
Pastor: “Awunazandla wena?”
Mamfundisi: “Yhehake wandiphoxa ndibe ndifuna ukutya?”
Pastor: “Ukufuna kum? Ndihlala ukutya mna?”
Mamfundisi: “Yhoo yhehake bawo! Ngandenzele ukutya wethu Bulelani nditye ndiphinde ndiyolala”
Pastor: “Utshayile! Utheni wena? Ezakho iingalo ziqhawukile?”
Mamfundisi: “Uyandithuka Bulelani! Undithukelani ke ngoku? Suke undilaxaze njen nhe? Yintoni ndikwenze ntoni?” 
Pastor: “Ungakulinge undingxolele ke mna uvile! Ungake ulinge! Ungake ulinge!”
Mamfundisi: “Tyhini! Suke wanengcwangu umntu ingathi uphoswe yikuku! Yintoni? Kutheni? Uhambe kakubi ezindaweni zakho lento ukhuphela kum umsindo”
Pastor: “Uthini? Undiqhela itapile yazi wena! Zeziphi ezindawo zam bendiye kuzo?”
Mamfundisi: “Uzibuza kwalapha kum? Ubuye kuzo kusasa oku! Ubuyephi ke?”
Pastor: “Ubobuza xa ungazi uvile?”
Mamfundisi: “Nangoku sele ndikuxelele ukuba wena undosulele nge AIDS wena usaqhubeka! Uyindoda enjani nha wena Bulelani? Ufuna ze ndife ukuze uuqonde ukuba ndiyagula?”
Pastor: “Uyolanda ukugula pha phandle kuzihlele wogqiba ukuzisa apha kum! Ngoku kufuneka iphinde ibe kwa ndim ngoku okunakekelayo? Unyile!”
Mamfundisi: “Uthini Mpumezo? Yhooo maaarn! Uthini Bulelani! Ndikuzisele ukugula?”
Pastor: “UMpumezo utheni ke? Uthini ngoMpumezo?”
Mamfundisi: “Ndibhudile!”
Pastor: “Weeee maaaaa! So mawubhude ngoMpumezo? Huh? NguMpumezo lo ulala naye?”
Mamfundisi: “Yhehake!”
Pastor: “Thetha maarn! Utheni uMpumezo? Ngulo ulala naye? Kudala ndiyithatha ke lento yalantwana! Thatha! Ulala noMpumezo?”
Mamfundisi: “Masiyiyeke lento coz ke le uyithethayo yona into ayiyo! Ndithe kuwe ubuyephi ekuse? Koko wena usuke wandidyobha ngoMpumezo! Mpumezo lowo wena omaziyo ukuba ungubrother wasenkonzweni kwaye wena umkhonzile, so ndingalala kanjani naye? Besides that, mncinci uMpumezo”
Pastor: “Ninalento yooBen10 kaloku! So makube nawe uzibambele uBen10 onguMpumezo kaloku! Ubungazutsho ke naxa ubunaye!”
Mamfundisi: “Ndithe kuwe ndibhudile! Ufuna ndithini ke? Ndivume?”
Pastor: “Thetha inyani! Uyinikwe ngubani iHIV? Ungakulinge uthi ndim! Umithiswe ngubani! Ungakulinge uthi ndim kuba sagqibela kudala ukulalana! Kumele siyojonga ukuba umntwana lo wakho ukuba unexesha elingakanani ekhona! Uza kuyithetha inyani! Uyabona ngoku! Uza kuhamba apha kwam ukuba ufumaniseke undijolela! Uzakunya!”
Mamfundisi: “Kanti ke mna Bulelani andiyi ndawo! Kuza kuphima wena lo ujolayo ze ucinge ukuba abantu bayajola kulendlu! Ndenzele ukutya wethu mna nditye uyeke undibhudela apha! Ukhathazwe kulendawo ubukuyo ngoku uvusa umsindo wakho kum! Ndibone kwa indlela ovele wandijonga ngayo ngoku ubufika! Caba ithe intombazana yakho fika undixexebule ukundijonge kakubi. Jonga ke bhuti ukuba lithe ixhwele lakho yenza lonto njengokuba nithwala kangaka nje nina befundisi, unyile ke apha kum! Uvile? Unyile apha kum! Kukwam nam apha! So ke bhuti, elovrawtsha lakho lizakusaka tu apha kum! Ndiza....”

Weeva ngenqindikazi umama umfundisi, kwaaqaka amazinyo amabini ngok nangoko, wayokuuuwa yena ngapha kweseti. Lakhawuleza ngoko nagoko igazi ukuntuluza ngomlomo. Wabe sele ephezu kwakhe umfundisi ngemvula yamanqini engaphumli.

Mamfundisi: “Yhuuuuu! Undibethela ntoni Bulelani? Ndiyeke ndizilwele! Ndiyeke! Ndiyeke! Suka phezu kwam! Suka! Suka! Ndiyeke! Yhuuuuuu! Uzakunya! Ndiyeeeeke! Bulelani! Ndiyake! Yhuuuuuuuu! De ndiphume izinyo! Yhu! Yhu! Yhu! Yhu! Yhu! Yhu! Yhu! Maaaaaaaamaaaaaaaaa! Yhoooooo! Yhoooooo! Yhooooo! Uyandibulala! Uyandibulala! Uyandibulalaaaaaaaa! Yhu! Yhu! Yhu! Yhu! Yhu! Maaaaaaaaaaaamaaaaaaaaaa!”

Umfundisi uBulelani akazange abe nawo umsindo ongaka ebomini bakhe. Suke washushu umzimba wakhe, suke wangcangcazela. Akazange amphumlele unkosikazi wakhe, ewajula amanqindi kwaye ewathumala ngamandlakazi amakhulu. Wade ngelingeni waphakama phezu kwakhe, kodwa engayekanga ukumxhimfa kanobom. Wamxangxatha ngoku ngesihlangu awaye esinxibile. Suke kwagcwala igazi nje ngesaquphekazi esikhulu. Wayebibitheka iqwela umfo wakwaThixo ekhupha into ngomlomo. Yayimenza umsindo kakhulu lento yalenkosikazi wayo uyiphathele iAIDS emzini wayo engayidingi yena. 

Umamfundisi yena, aveleka ngoko nangoko amehlo wakhe. Umlomo suke watsaleka, wambi ngakumbi ngoku. Le ndoda imkhuphe amazinyo amababini kwaye ngoku sele ephuma igazi nageendlebe. Wazama ukuphakama.

Pastor: “Oh! Ufuna ukulwa? Uyalwa? Huh? Uyalwa?”

Waaphinda wamkhaba esiswini kaninzi ninzi. Wamqusha-qusha wazama ke umamfundisi ukubamba esiswini, kanti uvule ebusweni, waakhatywa ebusweni wayokubetheka ngenqentsu kwii tiles wathi tywaaa. Wazithi nha izandla wabhedulula amehlo ngoko nangoko. Kodwa akazange ayekwe nguBulelani wakhe. Wasole wema phezu kwakhe wanga wophula ikhuni lokubasa, wanga wophula umnga, wanga ucumza intloko yenyoka, wanga ucumza isigcawu. Yasuke nje ualusizi lwento uBulelani, umfundisi exangxatha unkosikazi wakhe. 

Pastor: “Undiqhela ikaka nhe? Undiphathela yukufa? Huh? Undiphathela iAIDS endlwini yam ndizihlele? Huh? Undiphathela ukufa? Uyika uyaphika? Uphinde utyhole mna? Huh? Mfazindini? Kutheni? Uyajika uyalwa ngoku! Uyalwa! Huh? Phakama maaaarn! Yilwa kaloku! Yilwaaaa!”

Mmmh! Nkosin yam, nanku umfundisi ebulala unkosikazi wakhe madoda. Suke warhoxoza ngoku umamfundisi. Kodwa nalonto ayincedanga nto koko yenza axangxathelwe okokuba. Yini na lomfo madoda lento imbi kangaka ayenzayo. Ubesele emzonda kakhulu na unkosikazi lento amenza lento? Nqandani bethuna. Umgqibile.

Kwek, masime nje apho okwangoku. 

#DOUO