Scene #5

Mpumezo: “Yhu! Imali engaka?”
Bonisa: “Yimalini baby?”
Mpumezo: “Ininzi yhuuuu”
Bonisa: “Nyhani? We thank God”
Mpumezo: “Yhoooo! Kunini ndinqwenela ukwakhela umama wam indlu? Ndichithe laveza wapha ekhaya”
Bonisa: “Now is your time to do so”
Mpumezo: “Imoto”
Bonisa: “Ewe nhe?”
Mpumezo: “I've been dreaming of owning a car and I must get myself a car”
Bonisa: “When are you married?”
Mpumezo: “Ha! Ha! Ha!”
Bonisa: “Nam kudala ndiphupha!”
Mpumezo: “Not now”
Bonisa: “Nini? Unayo imali ngoku kalok”
Mpumezo: “Ewe kodwa andikabi nayo kaloku” 
Bonisa: “Ubala izinto ozifunayo kodwa awundiali mna kuzo”
Mpumezo: “Ndiyakubala kanti love”
Bonisa: “Ndifuna sitshate mna”
Mpumezo: “Sizakutshata kaloku! Kodwa hay ngoku”
Bonisa: “Nini ke?”
Mpumezo: “Ndizakuthetha nomama! Kunye nomfundisi”
Bonisa: “Umfundisi? Awukava?”
Mpumezo: “Intoni ke? Utheni umfundisi?”
Bonisa: “Ubulele! Ubanjiwe izolo”
Mpumezo: “Umfundisi? Uthini nha?”
Bonisa: “Ithe ndii ukuba ubulele unkosikazi wakhe. Kodwa abanye bathi unkosikazi wakhe usindile, abanye bathi ubhubhile, ayikaziwa kakuhle ke kodwa. Ibiphume nasezindabeni kwi radio Zibonele nasekuseni. Ubanjiwe kodwa yena”
Mpumezo: “Hay'maaarn! Yithi uyaxoka! Ubulele umamfundisi? Hay'bo! Nini?”
Bonisa: “Izolo kaloku! Uyokubanjelwa ententeni ke xa ndisiva”
Mpumezo: “Yhoooooooo! Lilishwa lantoni ke ngoku eli?”
Bonisa: “Libhantinti sithetha nje utata wakho”
Mpumezo: “Andikholwa ke ngoku! Inokuba umbulalela ntoni?”
Bonisa: “Abanye bathi umfundisi ufike kukho indoda pha endlini, so kuthwa umamfundisi ubanjwe nendoda! Kodwa abanye bathi umfundisi ubanjelwe ukutya imali yenkonzo kodwa ukuba kutheni ebulala umamfundisi ngalonto nam andakuyazi”
Mpumezo: “Imali? Iyabulalisa nha lonto? Khona sekuthiwa ubanjwe nendoda umamzo, kutheni engamlahli? Umbulalelani?”
Bonisa: “Itsho into”
Mpumezo: “Kuzakufuneka ke ndizame ukuqhagamshelana noSiyabulela ngalento! Inokuba banjani abazalwane ke ngoku? Lihlazo kodwa eli! Ayokubanjelwa ententeni khona sekwatshiwo? Ubeyokuthini ke yena?”
Bonisa: “Bendike ndancokola ke noSizeka ku Whatsapp. Uthe abazalwane bathukuthele ngumsindo and bafuna uSiyabulela abe ngumfundisi okanye bemke kwelabandla likamfundisi bayokuzivulela elabo”
Mpumezo: “Uthini nha? Kwenzeka ntoni kwelibandla lethu? Kutheni bevumela umtyholi angene phakathi kwabo? USiyabulela akakakulungeli ukuba ngumfundisi, usaqingqa”
Bonisa: “Bekuzakuba ngcono ke xa kuthathwa kwa wena mnt'wam”
Mpumezo: “Abanakuyenza lonto! Okanye bayeke, mna ndinemali ngoku. Ndizakuzithengela eyam i-instrument ndivule elam ibandla. Lonto yinto engenakundisokolisa tu”
Bonisa: “ Qale utshate kaloku Mpumezo”
Mpumezo: “Ndizakutshata ukuba nebandla kwam! Le into yokuphathwa nguSiyabulela engazinto andizukuyimela mna”
Bonisa: “Ayizuba right kaloku into yokumetsha ube ungumfundisi Mpumezo”
Mpumezo: “ Ndifuna ukuqale ndenze elibandla kaloku! Besides, andikangxami kwelicala lomtshato kaloku”
Bonisa: “Awufuni ukutshata nam Mpumezo? Wawundithembisile nje! Imali ikhona ngoku, ubanjwa yintoni”

Akaphendula ke noko umaQwathini kulombuzo. Suke waqubula iphone yakhe wazama ukufowunela umama umfundisi, nkqi ukutsho epalini. Waye wazama ukutsalela nomfundisi umnxeba, yakhala.

Mpumezo: “Andiva tata?”
Pastor: “Ndingaphandle nge bail kodwa andikho eLower ngoku! Kuthwe ndiphumele kwenye indawo kuba abahlali bangandibulala”
Mpumezo: “Uthi kwenzeke ntoni nha tata?”
Pastor: “Amagqwetha am athe ndingathethi ngayo lento! Kuba hleze ingaphazamisana nophando”
Mpumezo: “Ubulele tata?”
Pastor: “Kuthwa usesibhedlele umkam”
Mpumezo: “Kwenzeke ntoni kaloku?”
Pastor: “Njengokuba besenditshilo! Amagqwe....”
Mpumezo: “Alright! Alright! Ndikuvile! Ngoku uphu ke ngoku?”
Pastor: “Okwangoku ndicela ukungakuxeleli! Ukuphumam kwakho esibhedlele ndifuna uze apha kulendawo ndikuyo”
Mpumezo: “Ndizakubona! Kuba ndiyaphuma ngomso!”
Pastor: “Zindaba ezimnandi ezo! Ndifuna usole usiza nalamali ndandikunike yona ukuba uthenge ngayo iOIL”
Mpumezo: “Imali ye OIL? Ndayinika umafundisi kaloku! Wayesithi uzakuyithenga ngokwakhe iOIL and ke akazange aphinde athethise ngayo”
Pastor: “Into? Wena ze wamnikela ntoni?”
Mpumezo: “Ebethe uzakuyibuyisa kaloku ukupeya kwakhe ukuba akasazithenganga ngokwakhe iOIL ezo!:”
Pastor: “Hay'maarn nawe! Umnikela ntoni imali yenkonzo umamfundisi nhe Mpumezo? Huh? Yhe Mpumezo? Ndikuthuma into wena unikana noomamfundisi imali yenkonzo! Unjanin nha kanye? Umnike yonke lamali? Yhe madoda! Ngoku ndiyidinga kangaka maaarn ngoku le mali?”
Mpumezo: “Ayoyenkonzo nha? Ngoku wena uyidinga kuba uzakuyenzani? Yeyenkonzo kaloku, kumele isetyenziswe yinkonzo!”
Pastor: “Ndijikelwa nguwe ngoku Mpumezo? Ngoku ubuthandazelwa ndim ukuloobhedi ulele kuyo usifa! Ngoku ndisekoneni awufuni kundinceda”
Mpumezo: “Hay'ke akho kujikela ngandawo ke apho!”
Pastor: “Ayikaphumi le yakho imali?”
Mpumezo: “Yimali etheni leyo? Iphuma phi? Huh?”
Pastor: “Le ibhatalwa sisibhedlele kaloku”
Mpumezo: “Hay'akukhuo mali ivela esibhedlele eza kum apha”
Pastor: “Umphathi sibhedlele wayetshilo. Kufuneka sifune igqwetha ze ukwazi ukuyi claimer lamali mfo kabawo! Singenza ibusiness enkulu ngalamali”
Mpumezo: “Ukuba iyaphuma, yekabani kanene? Kutheni ingathi ufaka u(SI) nje? Iyakuba yeyam kaloku”

Akugqiba ukutsho, wayicima loophone uMpumezo sele kucaca ukuba ujwaqekile ngumsindo. 

Mpumezo: “Inoku sele eve ngabani ke lo ukuba ikhona imali ephumayo?”
Bonisa: “Wayekhona ngalamini wayexelelwa umama wakho!”
Mpumezo: “Ngoku yekabani lamali? Kutheni equka isininzi nje?”

Kwangena unesi.

Mpumezo: “Ewe ndivile nesi, ndiyabulela”
Nesi: “Usebenzise ikhondom ke bhuti xa usabelana ngesondo. Ungaze uphinde uyibhude loonto! Usinde ekufeni”
Mpumezo: “Lonto ndoyalekile sisi! Enkosi ke ngokundikhathalela kwakho”
Nesi: “Losisi kudala emana esiza apha, everyday. Uyintoni wena sisi kubhuti?”
Bonisa: “He is my fiance sisi”
Nesi: “Are you guys angeged?”
Mpumezo: “Hay...”
Bonisa: “Ewe sisi! Sizakutsha kungekudala”
Nesi: “Nyhani? Zindaba ezimnandi ke ezo! Goodluck bethunana”
Bonisa: “Siyabulela sisi! Singakumema phofu emtshatweni wethu?”
Nesi: “Yhuu! Ndinagvuya bethuna! Nini?”
Bonisa: “Ekuqaleni konyaka next year, kodwa asikabi nalo usuku kodwa uzakuva ngathi wena”
Mpumezo: “Yhooo! He! He! He!”
Nesi: “Utheni unentaka ngoku? Huh? Woyika ukutshata?”
Bonisa: “Mhlawumbi sele ethingaza! Inokuba sikhona esinye isigulana asibonileyo”
Nesi: “Ha! Ha! Ha! Hay, ungakhweleteli umntu egula kaloku! Khona, wena sisi uyenzile iSTI test ke?”
Bonisa: “STI test?”
Nesi: “Ewe kaloku, asindithi ubulala nobhuti? Ngoku xa enayo surely nawe unayo! Kaloku thina mabhinqa sizizitya, siyakhongozela yonke lentlobo yezi zifo ziza naba bhuti! Kuzakumele nawe ufumane unyango kungekabi late ke sana”
Bonisa: “Ndiyakuva sisi! Enkosi”
Nesi: “Hay'ke! Make ndigqibezele umsebenzi wam ke. Wena sigulane sam, ulale ke uphumle kuba itshayile ngomso”
Mpumezo: “Enkosi sisi! Enksosi nesi wam! Omhle”

Aphume unesi.

Bonisa: “STI?”
Mpumezo: “I can explain”
Bonisa: “Amathumba?”
Mpumezo: “Wait baby”
Bonisa: “Kanti lamini sisepakini wawusele ugula nhe? OH! Lamini udunjelwa lisende Mpumezo wawusele ugula? Ndiyabuza! Sukuthi 'baby' kum maaarn ndiphendule!”
Mpumezo: “Sukukhwaza kaloku! Yima si...”
Bonisa: “Ndimele ntoni? Ndimele ntoni?”
Mpumezo: “Uyaphi ngoku? Yima kaloku sithethe baby”
Bonisa: 'Awuyazi indlela endazikhathaza ngayo Mpumezo! Ndandizohlwaya! Ndizikhanda! Kanti wena uneSTI! Jike enkonzweni uxakekisa abantu ubasokolisa uthi unamathumba! Mpumezo udlala ngoThixo! Mpumezo udlala ngoThixo nhe?”
Mpumezo: “Hay kaloku mamela sisi I...”
Bonisa: “Andifuni nokuva! Ndiyeke ndi...”
Mpumezo: “Ndizakukutshata Bonisa”
Bonisa: “Ndifuna ukugoduka mna! Jonga bhuti ungaphinde utheth...! Huh? Andiva? Uthini? Kahphinde?”
Mpumezo: “Would you marry me Bonisa?”
Bonisa: “Is that for real? Are you asking me for real Mpumezo? Mpumezo ungadlali ngam kanjalo”
Mpumezo: “Nditshate”
Bonisa: “NcoooaaaH! I will marry you baby”

Baangana ke bankonyana ixeshana elide. Encume usisi kucaca ukuba uyavuya.

Sime apho.

#DOUOM