Sele sidibana noBonisa elele kwa Mpumezo, noMpumezo. Kwakusekuzeni kusa, kwakungecala emva kwentsimbi yesibini ekuseni. UMpumezo uyapenapena, uva iintlungu. Akakhululanga ulele ngeempahla. UBonisa yena wayelungele umdlalo wasebusuku, eze jwi.
Bonisa: “Xa ungaziva kamnandi kaloku Mpumezo kumele uyeklinik kusasa”
Mpumezo: “Kuyavukwa maarn xa kusiyiywa eklinik”
Bonisa: “Kumele uvuke for impilo yakho”
Mpumezo: “Phinde ndifolele iiPANADO ke”
Bonisa: “Okusalayo uzobe ulufumene uncedo, ukuba ingxamiseke kakhulu ingxaki yakho, ungathunyelwa esibhedlele”
Mpumezo: “Ndizoba right wena suwara”
Bonisa: “Ngoku ubupenapena ubusuku bonke? Kwaye ndiyarhala ukuba ubusele ugula kakade wena, qha sele ufumene ityholo lokuzimela ngokukungquba kwam”
Mpumezo: “Uphambene! Bendingekho nje ngokuya bendidibana nawe! Ndingqitywe nguwe!”
Bonisa: “Ndixolisile kaloku, yintoni nha ngawe?”
Mpumezo: “Andifuni lento uyiphikayo kaloku”
Bonisa: “So, yiyo lento undivimbayo ke ngoku?”
Mpumezo: “Ndidunjelwe lisende Bonisa, nawe uyayazi lonto ukuba ndingqutywe nguwe”
Bonisa: “Ewe! Ndiyavuma, kodwa ngeselipholile ngoku, wandipha saba grend. Lelitheni eli lakho lingade liphole bhuti? Awuna STI kanti?”
Mpumezo: “Uphambene! Andinato ndinayo mna! Ndilinyazwe nguwe qha”
Bonisa: “Kude kubethe u2 ekuseni ungekaphili? Kwinto eyenzeke ngoo 12 emini? Yho hay bhuti”
Mpumezo: “Uyalazi ke isende ukuba libuthathaka, kwaye kufuneka liphathwe ngononophelo. Wena ukhetha ukulityumza ngokulingquba, ngoku lidumbile ke, uthini ke? Naaako usalifuna! Hay hay hay! “
Bonisa: “Yhehake ndixolisile tyhini! Yintoni ngawe?”
Mpumezo: “Bhekela kaloku, sukuthi nca kum, uzakuphinda undingqube”
Bonisa: “Yho! Ndingakubambi ke ngoku?”
Mpumezo: “Bhekelisa isinqe kaloku, ungathi nca kum! Ibuhlungu into ondenze yona rha!”
Bonisa: “Tjioo! Uxolo shame baby! Yiza ndikuphulule ke nana”
Mpumezo: “Hay! Asindawo yodlala le ufuna ukuya kuyo”
Bonisa: “Ngubani othe ndiyodlala? Caba nha mna andizazi izinto zodlala nhe? Zibhalwe MADE IN ZIMBABWE ke bhuti if ububgayazi?”
Mpumezo: “Zimbabwe?”
Bonisa: “Umuncu kanene”
Mpumezo: “Ndenze switi kaloku”
Bonisa: “Awufuni nje! Ndithe yiza ndikuphulule uzoba grend”
Mpumezo: “Hay! Hay! Hay”
Bonisa: “Yintoni nha usuke ubenengcwangu nha mpumezo? Andithanga uxolo? Hay futsek yeka! Hlala nelosende lakho linye”
Mpumezo: “Yikaka ke le undixelela yona, wogqiba ukundimosha”
Bonisa: “Hay futsek ke”
Waguquka uBonisa, wajonga edongeni enomsindokazi omkhulu. NoMpumezo naye wajonga kwelakhe icala. Yangulowo wadlala ngeyakhe iphone, equmbe esisifu. UBonisa, wayelele ze enganxibanga. UMpumezo yena elele ngejini yakhe le ebeyinxibe emini. Wayesenala toilet paper wayeyijijele iQwathi elifutshane eli lakhe. Inokuba yayisele iinjani ngoku? Kulameko waye ekuyo. Wazicengela wancama uBonisa, ukuba aphiwe yile yasemaqwathini indoda, suke yavukwa lugcwabevu lomsindokazi, imtyhola ngokudumbisa isende layo. Kodwa yabe ingavumi kukhulula ibhulukhwe yayo, de yangena ngayo ebhedini. Noko ezi izimbo uBonisa wayeqala ukuzibona, kwaye zisenziwa yindoda. Indoda yonke? De ingene ngejini yayo ebhedini? Iqhele ukuba yintombi eyenza lomkhuba kwaye yena ubexolele nantoni, kuba kakade uyamthanda uMpumezo. Kodwa ubhidwe yeyokosa namhlanje. Makube lomfo unayo ingxaki koko uzimela ngalento.
Mpumezo: “Uva vumba lini? Coz andiva nto inukayo mna”
Bonisa: “Makube ikhona impuku efele apha phakathi komatrasi nengubo ukuba ayifanga ngaphantsi. Kufuneka ke uzame uvuthulula iingubo zakho bhuti. Kuyanuka maarn”
Mpumezo: “Yeka nawo ukusuza oku! Kuba mna andiva nto inukayo, ke wena uva amavumba makube nguwe lo usuzayo okanye unukayo”
Bonisa: “Hay, makube undiqhela kakubi ke Mpumezo”
Mpumezo: “Nguwe ondiqhela ikaka! Uyasuza wogqiba utyhole iingubo zam! Azimdakanga ezi ngubo”
Bonisa: “Ngubani othe zimdaka ke bhuti?”
Mpumezo: “Awuthi ziyanuka?”
Bonisa: “Ngoku ngubani othe zimdaka?”
Mpumezo: “Uyandinyela qha wena”
Bonisa: “Nawe rha”
Mpumezo: “Zose ndikukhabe unye ke yazi Bonisa?”
Bonisa: “Uzobe kudala ufuna ukuphindisa kaloku! Kudala ndiyibona lonto kaloku, ukuba ufuna ukundibetha. Ungandibetha ukuba uyafuna Mpumezo! Ndibethe! Andizungcungcutheka kaloku ndicelana noxolo kuwe wogqiba ungabinantloni zokundibetha futhi! Ndibethe!”
Mpumezo: “Uphume ke apha ukuba uzakundinyela”
Bonisa: “Ndingahamba bhuti! Nangala mini ndakhuthuzwa ngayo ndandiyawasuka apha! Nanmhlanje ufuna ndiphinde ndikhuthuzwe? Awunantliziyo bhuti into inye emandikuxelele yona qha”
Mpumezo: “Ingathi ngothula ke”
Bonisa: “Andizuthula tu ndingabotshelelwanga milebe nje bhuti! Nguwe nangoku owabangela ndikhuthuzwe”
Wohlika ebhedini uMpumeze sele engcambaza kabuhlungu ukuya ngasemnyango. Wacothela ngasese pha phandle.
Ekufikeni kwakhe wayithoba ijini yayoma emaqatheni akhe, Wanwebulula itoilet paper le ikumqwathi. Yayisele ibomvu-mdaka-mnyama ngoku kwa yona. Yayisele ithe ncaa, imanzi toxo kodwa. Wayizama ukuyixobula, kodwa nzima. Isopha into le yakhe! Wayengcangcazela umzimba lo wonke, de watshonelwa nangamehlo. Suke kwee gqi amathambo obuso kulomfo, gqi iimbanjana ngoku. Yabhitya indoda.
Wavula isiciko salendawo igcina amanzi okuflasha, wamana enxuza isandla sakhe, gqibe afafaze apha kumqwathi, osulasule ogqiba kwakhe ukufaka amanzi. Inene elivumba lalisuka apha kumqwathi. Kakade, sekulithuba kwa uMpumezo engawaphathi amanzi okuvasa. Utshintsha nje impahla ogqiba avase ngee perfume nangezi prey.
Uye wabuyela endlini sele enkalasa inga utshiswa yituwa, emana ukuma abambelele ngodonga uke aphozise nje nkosi yam.
Mpumezo: (Ethetha yedwa) “Hay! Mandide ndizincame ndiye kule klinik kusasa. Kuycaca ukuba ayisoze iphile lento mfondini”
Caba ikhona into eye yafika engqondweni yakhe kwakhona uphopho. Wavakala sele esithi;
Mpumezo: (Esathetha yedwa) “Kanene,ndizobe ndipicwa ngabafazi pha kula kliniki. Hay hay hay hay! Andifuni kube ndiphathwa ngamanina maaarn mna! Kumele ndiye kwenye nje indawo endizophathwa yindoda! Likhona kenene elagqirha lilapha ezifletini, kumele ndiye kulo. Lingandinceda nalo ngamayeza esintu ukuze ndikhawuleze ukuphila. Ukuba ndike ndaya kulakliniki ndizobe ndifola, nditshitshiliza ngathi ndiyintombi eyohlukuhla, phinde, ndiyopicwa linesi, lizobe nditsala amagazi, kujongwa yonke inyakanyaka egazini lam. Ha.a, kungcono ndiye kulo uzakundinyanga qha. Kwaye akufunekanga ndibe ndivuka ekuseni, ndizofumana uncedo pha kwelagqirha”
Wade wayofika ke endlini. Wasose walala esetini, wavula itivi yakhe wabukela umculo kuSABC iAfterparty. Wde wabiwa bubuthongo umfo wakwaDikela.
Ke sibe sisima ke apho nto zobawo. Kwixa elizayo.
#DOUO
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