Mpumezo: (Whatsapp) “Buya torho” Mamfundisi: “Lixesha endibuya ngalo kaloku emsebenzini eli, kumele ndigoduke” Mpumezo: “Sele ndikukhumbula kaloku ngoku mna” Mamfundisi: “Hey behave wena! Ha! Ha! Ha!” Mpumezo: “Uxolo ke” Mamfundisi: “Ncoooaaah! Uqumbile nje” Mpemezo: “Ewe tshini” Mamfundisi: “Suba nalo ixhala, ndizakulifimana elinye ithuba, sizophinda sibe kunye” Mpumezo: “Enkosi ngeR250 le undiphe yona, izondinceda” Mamfundisi: “Nhaaa! Don’t even mention it! Isengamaqalela ke lawo” Mpumezo: “I am so blessed to have a woman like you in my like” Mamfundisi: “Sine deal ke, ndanelise le ndingayifumaniyo apha endlini, mna ndizokukhathalelela, oyidingayo uzakuyifumana” Mpumezo: “Enkosi! Khobuye torho! Please! Ngoku!” Mamfundisi: “Kumele silungiselele ukuya ententeni ke, andifuni kuba late, ingathi ukhona nalo tata. Kwenze njani, ndiqhele ukufika engekho” Mpumezo: “Makube akahambanga kakuhle kwezindawo zakhe kaloku” Mamfundisi: “To be honest, i had a great time with you today, enkosi ngokundamkela. Nditsho ndakhaphu-khaphu okwam ngoku. Suke ndagcwala uncumo nje ndonke. I hope to find elinye ithuba so soon. Akhange ndiyiqonde ukuba uyindoda emadodeni ngoluhlobo. Undanelisile” Mpumezo: “Usemtsha kaloku, sukuzenza ixhegwana. 32 years incinci kaloku, wena useyintanga yethu. Ha! Ha! Ha! Wakhetha ukuyotshata namaxhego” Mamfundisi: “Hay hay hay! Ndingumamfundisi wakho Mpumezo, lonto ithi ndimdala kaloku kuwe! Ndingumamakho” Mpumezo: “Ewe mama! Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”
Wangena kwakhe endlini umamfundisi. Wafika umyeni wakhe ehleli esetini ebukele itivi. Wayebukele ibhola, le yaphesheya. Ebeke i2l yelemon twist phambi kwakhe kunye neelemon creams biscuits. Wayenxibe ihempe engahlohlwanga, ibhlukhwe emnyama, kunye nezihlangu eziqhoboshwayo, ezi zitsolo kodwa imitya ingaqhinwanga. Wayezivulile ihempe le, amaqhosha la asesifubeni engaqhotyoshwanga. Ikhola le imile. Wayehleli ngomsila apha esitulweni, ebhendile, enabile, suke wakelela umzimba umzinga oku kwenjana ehluthi mpuu.
Kwavele kwacaca nje ukuba akukhange kuphathwe zitya pha entla. Suke ngoku zongezeleleka, zaninzi.
Pastor: “Tyhini? Bezizohlanjwa ngubani ke mfazi?” Mamfundisi: “Ububgenokundinceda ke tata? Coz kaloku mna ndisemsebenzini, wena ukhona!” Pastor: “Khona, ngumholo wakho ke lo wokundibulisa ngokukhuza izitya ukuba azihlanjwanga nha?” Mamfundisi: “Andisoze ndingabuzi. Xa ndikhona kaloku akubi nje, ndiyacoca! Wena uyekele ntoni ukuklina indlu?” Pastor: “Khazapha ke ndiphuze wethu mkam! Ke ndithi mhathu bekanye! Iza kaloku uyaphi ngoku?” Mamfundisi: “Hay ndidiniwe mna mntakabawo! Ndifuna ukuhlamba” Pastor: “Iza kuqala. Ndikukhumbule! Oko bendikucinga imini le yonke” Mamfundisi: “Awafowuna! Awathumela nomyalezo ukucacisa ukuba uyandikhumbula! Ubundikhumbula nyhani?” Pastor: “Ewe baby wam kaloku nje! Iza apha ecaleni kwam! Ndiyaxolisa maaarn ngaphezolo! Bendidiniwe! Ngoku ndifresh! Iza ke” Mamfundisi: “Hay uxolo tata, ndidiniwe nam namhlanje! Ndisebenze kakhulu ke namhlanje and ndinetyiwa nje umzimba wonke” Pastor: “Akukho ngxaki, ndingakuncedisa ukuvasa, ndingakuhlamba ndawo yonke! Nje ukuba singahlamba kunye” Pastor: “Yima ndikugalele amanzi ebhafini, with bubbles ke, wena be uyokhulula unxibe igawen yakho” Mamfundisi: “Khaqale uhlambe izitya ezi wethu, yeka lobhafu ndizokuziranela amanzi ashushu ngokwam. Vasa izitya ezi”
Waphaka utata wabantu weza kunkosikazi wakhe, yena ome ngasentla, wathatha ibhegi wayibeka etafileni yokutyela. Wazama ukubamba umamzo esinqeni, suke umamzo wathatha ezo zandla wazibuyisela kumnini wazo.
Mamfundisi: “Izitya tata kuqala! Ndiyeke ndiyovasa! Ndiyanuka!”
Washeka ethe manga apho utata wabantu, de wabeka izandla esinqeni. Hlasi ibhegi yakhe umamzo, gwije uyotshona ekamerweni yakhe yokulala. Ufike kungondlulwanga, kungatshayelwanga, kungaqoqoshwanga, kungakhange kuvulwe kwa ezo festile, suke kwathi fixi ivumba leengubo. Ebesenzani na lomfo ixesha eli lonke? Esame njalo, weva iingalo zimbamba efigeni yakhe, zibe zivela ngemva kwakhe. Weva into emhlabayo ezimpundwini zakhe, kucaca ukuba konakele apha kumfundisi kulomhlatyana wakhe ungezantsi. Wajula ibhegi yakhe umamfundisi kulomfungu-mfungu yeengubo ezibabaza indlala kwazona. Waguquka kancinci inga uzokwenza lento ifunwa ngumyeni wakhe. Wajikelisa iingalo ngapha komyeni wakhe, epholile, encumile. Suke yaqinisa ukumhlaba ngoku lento apha emazantsi kwesisu sakhe, kucaca ukuba into ikhumbula into nayo. Wayingqamanisa kanye nonojeje wakhe, wanga angatshona umfundisi ebhendile isinqe esihlabe sonke esiswini sikamamzo.
Mamfundisi: “Myeni wam! Ndithe kuwe ndidiniwe! Awundiveli nha? Mna ndiqhele ukukuvela ke xa udiniwe! Ndiyakucela torho yini!” Pastor: “Andikwazi kuzibamba nkosikazi! Ndiyakukhumbula kwaye ndikungxamele” Mamfundisi: “Kanti ke asoze senze nto tu! KUmele ndihalmbe ze ndilungisele ukuya ententeni kaloku. Simthembisile uBonisa ukumkhulekela! Ndifuna ukuyothandaza kuqala pha kungekafiki bantu” Pastor: “Sizokhawulezisa kaloku nkosikazi! Ohyhini! Ndakucela mkam! Sizothi nje one two” Mamfundisi: “Ngaloma onw two’s ke la mna ndingawafuniyo. Kaloku ungumyeni wam, awundibi, so akumelanga ibengathi siyabana, kumele senze lento sanele. Mna ke njengomntu okugqibele kudala kumele ndikuve, ndanele, njengomfazi wakho”
Wazama ukuzisusa endodeni, yabe itshele yona, ide yabila ibunzi, impumlo, ide inga iyangcangcazela. Ufanele umruti ukuba nje, lentombi yasuke yaba ntsha, yabantle, yafresh. Suke yahluka namhlanje. Nokuba kutheni, ikhona into eyenzekileyo kuyo. Suke nalebhrukhwe iyasu-yasu yamjampisela ukuba untongelwe, suke wagoba nomqolo, wangcangcazela ngakumbi.
Umamfundisi wajikela kwelicala lokuhlambela, wavulela amanzi ashushu, waqokelela azakudinga xa evasa. Wakhulu wama ze, bhrutsu. Wangathi ngabasisi bathengisa ngemizimba mfondini. KWanto ayenzayo, inga uthi buka kodwa awuzuchola naphantsi be uzinqwenisa wena. Umdundisi, wayejwaqeka ngumsindo. Inga ngasuka azithathele amalungelo ache, nje ngendoda, nje ngomfundisi. Kodwa wazicanga, wangena kwelacala kulalwa kulo, efake isandla ngaphakathi ebhrukhweni, ngaphantsi kwento ayinxibe ngaphantsi. Ukuba wenzani ke pha ngaphantsi yayisaziwa nguwe. Wazixolisa ngelithi, yena uzofumana nakanjani ngokuhlwa.
Mamfundisi: (Whatsapp) “Awuna picture yento egqibokwenza ke nana yam! Ndithi akandirhaleli utatakho! Ubatywe urhala bhe! Ndimfumene kakuhle! Ucunga ukuba ndizakumpha late, kodwa akazukhotha naphantsi! Ndithe nethe mna kwaye andifun kwaaaaa!”
Sibonane ke ententeni xa sibuya. 22:45 namhlanje
#DOUO
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