Thursday 19 December 2013

Scene #3.19

UCeliwe uncokola noNolitha umhlobo wakhe. Umncokolela okuthe kwenzeka namhlanje xeshikweni eseBarcelona kwamakazi wakhe. Intombi kucaca nje mhlophe ukuba ikholiwe nguMpumezo.

Celiwe: “Mhle wena! And unxiba kakuhle”
Nolitha: “Ubumbona phi nha mnganam?”
Celiwe: “kaloku bendikwamakazi pha eBarcelona, so ndathunywa iAirtime kwe nye ishop ekwapha. Ndadibana naye ke mnganam”
Nolitha: “So wathini kaloku”
Celiwe: “Nothing much kaloku, ufune nje inumber yam and nam andalibazisa”
Nolitha: “Haaaaaaaa! Ndikwazi ke wena”
Celiwe: “Tjiooo! Inemali lachap! Iyikhuphe phakathi kwezinye inotes laR50 and kucaca ukuba akayikhathalelanga netshintshi sana”
Nolitha: “Kwathini ungaceli imali nha mnganam”
Celiwe: “Yhuuuuu! Undijongise kakubi ngamntu? Myeke wena! Ndizakuhamba naye ngomgca!”
Nollitha: “Kodwa ke mnganam soloko uneLuck wena yala maOW mahle and ke uyawawina onke”
Celiwe; “Ndithi sana oko endincoma ukubamhle! Ndaqonda nje lo uyandifuna!”
Nolitha: “Hay chomza”
Celiwe: “Masimlinde andifowunela nje wena and see if ukum nha”
Nolitha: “Unayo nje nawe inumber yakhe, uyekela ntoni?”
Celiwe; “Ha.a! Zojongeka desperate kaloku mpintjie yam. Myeke enze the first move...!”
Nolitha: “So, uzomxelela nge status sakho ke ngoku?”
Celiwe: “I don't know”
Nolitha: “Hay'bo! Why?”
Celiwe: “You know what happenes when I tell these guys my status kaloku”
Nolitha: “But you have to tell him at some point”
Celiwe: “I know! Kanti wena wawumxelele uSityhilelo that you are HIV positive?”
Nolitha: “Hayi! Ndandingenakuzilambisa rha! Kodwa ndamxelela ukuba makafake ikhondom, akafuna! Ndimyeka ke mna”
Celiwe: “Tjiooo! Basuke bangayifuni ke ikhondom!”
Nolitha: “Nam kaloku andizobe ndizisokolisa! Phofu uBrian yena wanditya ngoku ndimxelelayo ukuba ndi HIV, suke wahamba endihleba ukuba ndi neAIDS kodwa akakhnge asebenzise khondom apha kum”
Celiwe: “Yhewena! Hle lompumezo wakhona! Unxiba kakuhle! Kuyacaca ukuba uyakhonza ke yazo”
Nolitha: “Umbone njani?”
Celiwe: “Uhlobo anxibe ngalo! Izihlangu ezitsolo, nesheti yakhe enamaqhosha amaninzi kwi colar! Imali wena! Yhooooo! Iaccent yevumba lakhe wena”
Nolitha: “Andisarhaleli ukumbona ke ngoku! Kodwa wofika ngumntu endimaziyo ke yaz”
Celiwe: “Hay bendiqala ukumbona mna ke shame”
Nolitha: “Hewena awuncume sana! Setheuyakthanda na lomfana?”
Celiwe: “Ha.a! Kodwa you know moss amadoda kaloku! Obviuos uandifuna! Undithandile”
Nolitha: “Kwaye ulityile ilaphu namhlanje mnganam! Yintoni wachophisa na today?”
Celiwe: “Hay hay hay hay! Yintoni? Hay khandiyeke wethu! Ha! Ha! Ha! Okanye uyiLesbian ngoku mnganam”
Nolitha: “Haaaaaaaa! Yhuuuuuuuu! Yini ukundihlekisa! Ha! Ha! Ha! Wena kanene!”
Celiwe: “And unaye noWhatsapp ke sana, qha ndoyika ukuqala incoko ngokwam! Ha! Ha! Ha!”
Nolitha: “Ubani ke?”
Celiwe: “Lo Mpumie kaloku”
Nolitha: “Ngubani kanti igama lakhe loMpumie wakho?”
Celiwe: “Uthe unguMpumie kaloku nalapha kum! Andimazi nam”
Nolitha: “Yhehake Mpumie!”
Celiwe: “Yintoni?”
Nolitha: “Akekho gay nha loMpumie wakho?”
Celiwe: “Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”
Nolitha: “Igama eli liyandikrokrisa ke yazi”
Celiwe: “Andimbonanga njalo kodwa mna”
Nolitha: “Ebengapitsekanga nha mnganam? Ha! Ha! Ha!”

UCeliwe waye wafumana umyalezo ongena ngoWhatsapp. Wawuvela kuMpumezo. Wabonisa umhlobo wakhe ke sele enoncumo oluhle.

Nolitha: “Nyhani tshomi?”
Celiwe: “Ewe! Nanku ke jonga...”
Nolitha: “Khaveze iPic yakhe Celie! Yhu! Akasemhle maaaarn”
Celiwe: “Akasasutanga sana”
Nolitha: “Mhle tshomi yam! Lonto inoba uphangela endwaeni eryt ke yazi! Jonga lesuti ayinxibileyo. Yho! Ufumene this time ke yazi”
Celiwe: “Utsho?”
Nolitha: “Uzamthini uSimphiwe ke ngoku? ULonwabo yena?”
Celiwe: “Hasuka! Andisabafuni! Ndifuna loMpumie”
Nolitha: “Hay'wena! USimphiwe ekuthanda kangaka?”

UMpumezo oko waye eOline elindele impendulo kuCeliwe. Kodwa phofu embona akuba lomntu athetha naye ukhona naye apha emgceni. Kodwa walinda ngomonde umfo, emana ephendula iincokwana ezibandayo zoBonisa kodwa emana ukukroba kumanye amacala esocial networks, like facebook and twitter.

Celiwe: “Ungubani?”
Mpumezo: “Hay'bo”
Celiwe: Yintoni? Andikwazi kaloku mna! Ungubani”
Mpumezo: “Mpumie”
Celiwe: “Oh! Hi! Sorry andikabinayo imali yokukubhatala ke bhuti”
Mpumezo: “Nha! Andifuni undibhatale! Infact, you can pay me ngokuzondibona”
Celiwe: “Haybo!”
Mpumezo: “Yintoni”
Celiwe: “Njalo nje?”
Mpumezo: “You will be paying the debt aloku”
Celiwe: “Nini ke”
Mpumezo: “Manje! Or late”
Celiwe: “I will see”

Wancuma ke utatakho, kaloku kuye nguthemba mqala uzoginya. Kwaye waye sele eyazi ukuba angavuma nje ukuza kuye usisiza icacile ukuba anganza nantoni nha ayifunayo okanye usele evunyiwe.

Sibonane kwelizayo ilixa.

#DOUO

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