“Uza kutya ntoni tata?” Wabuza umama umfundisi kwindoda yekhola. Akazange afumane mpendulo koko umfo omkhulu wathi gwije ekamirweni sele etyedisa amaqhina kakade. Akazange naye ahoye, suke waya entla ezimbizeni, wazama ukujonga ukuba akhonto ikhoyo na kwezambiza ziphezu kwe sitovu, wafuka zithe mome ngamafutha. Kaloku akhange zihlanjwe ezaphezolo, akhange zihlanjwe kunye nezi bezimane zisetyenziswa ngutata lo walapha emini. Waya pha kwisikhenkcezisi, walozela nakho ejonga ukuba angadibanisa ntoni nantoni ukuze umyeni wakhe atye.
Pastor: “Andilambanga nkosikazi, yiza sizokulala” Mamfundisi: “Indlela endilambe ngayo mna ayithetheki, ndisebenze gqithi pha emsebenzini namhlanje. LOnto besi under-staff so bekungekho xesha lakutya” Pastor: “Yiza uzokulala mama kaloku ukwenzela ndikunike imasaj etshoyo ze uphumle” Mamfundisi: “Mandiqale nditye kuqala, ke lonto se ndarhalela kwa umngqusho” Pastor: “Umngqusho? Hay kusebusuku nkosikazi ukuba ungapheka loomngqusho” Mamfundisi: “Ndise ndawurhalela kanti ke tata oku komntu omithiyo. Ukuba bendihoyiwe apha ekhaya ngendisithi inokuba ndimithi, kodwa dooo” Pastor: “Hay sukuthetha njalo nkosikazi, uThixo uzakukubetha” Mamfundisi: “Khawume ndijonge umbane ukuba ungakanani nha ze ndibeke lomngqusho! Kanene ikhona ihitha tata, iseneparafini? Heke mandibeke kuyo lomngqusho wam, uzakukhawuleza” Pastor: “Heee! Yenkosikazi, uqinisekile ngalento uza kuyenza? Ulijongile ixesha phofu? Ngu 23H23 ngoku ixesha, into exela kusebusuku” Mamfundisi: “Asoze ndilale ndingatyanga mna, abunakuhla obo buthongo tu” Pastor: “Asiwlala kaloku nje mntwam” Mamfundisi: “Sihlale senzeni ebusuku? Uqhele ukungena urhone kaloku wena, ndithi ndikukrweca ungasabeli tu. Andifuni kuzisokolisa ke mna, ndim ndodwa ke ozokhalelwa ngamathumbu ebusuku, ube undishiye apho ulele wena” Pastor: “namhlanje ndizimisele ukuhlala nonkosikazi wam omhle, ndioncokole naye, ndimolule amathambo, ndimasaje yonke indawo” Pastro: “Yibe usiyolala tata ndiyeza, net uhlutha kwam ke ngulo mngqusho kaloku” Pastor: “Kodwa nkosikazi uya...” Mamfundisi: “Ukuba usame apho, lomngqusho awuzuvuthwa. Ndifuna ukuwuhlamba, ndiwongule kakuhlek, ndiwukhethe, ndihlambe eye yezi mbiza zimdaka, ndilayte ihitha, ndiwubeke! If usame apho uyandiphazamisa ekwenzeni lomsebenzi wonke” Pastor: “Wubeke nje nkosikazi wogqiba uze ebhedini” Mamfundisi: “Khawube uhamba tata ndiyeza”
Yanyoshoza le yasebufundisini ichap, sele ingasathembi nokuba lomfazi uyenza ngamabom na lento yakhe okanye upanisha yena nganto ayenzayo. Ngelixesha ibuya ekamerweni, ngokuya ibibuzwa ngokutya ingaphenduliyo, yayicinga ukuba unkosikazi uzakuyilandela, asole esithi makulalwe. Kodwa akubanga kho njalo, kwacaca ukuba akade eze lomfazi. Yasole yakhulula isuti ibiyinxibile yema ngeshoti yangaphantsi, waqubula igaweni yakhe waithi wambu, wonda ngalomfazi. Akwalunga.
Ekufikeni kwakhe umfundisi ekamerweni, wazijula emandlalweni obungondlulwanga kakade. Wantantisa imiqamelelo yayintaba ukunyuka, ze wangqima ngawo ejonge emnyango. Akaveli lomfazi.
Umamzo kwelakhe icala kuthe ngco kuye ngaphakathi. Inga naye ubuyisa izitya. Yayimcaphukisa kakhulu akucinga indlela emphethe ngayo kakubi lendoda, imhlupha umphefumlo kakhulu. Phakathi kwabantu, bazimantandane kodwa bakusithela esintwini kuvele kungene umoya obandayo phakathi kwabo, de imvimbe amalungelo akhe nje ngomfazi wayo lendoda. Ngoku, ithi makonwaywe phi ke yena? Suke kwee qatha uMpumezo kuye, kwangooooko gqi ngoncumo ebusweni bakhe. Yathingco intliziyo yakhe, yacima esanda ukwenzeka. Gqi kakuhle esakusasa kunye nemini yonke isiganeko. Wake weeeee maa! Encume kuvele izixhobo kunye nezinxonxo. Ekubekeni kwakhe imbiza, wacinga kanene bekuthwe makayibeke nje aye ebhedini. Kodwa kunzima ukuba ngumfazi, ube ulalwa kodwa udiniwe kwaye aunamdla. Kodwa yakuba nguwe ofuna okokulalwa iba ngumlo, indoda idinwe, ibenomsindo, iqumbe de ikubethe. Makube ibuya ihluthi.
Wayibeka ke ihitha phambi kweseti, wayibeka imbizana yakhe enomngqusho omhlophe neembotyi. Wathi sele ehleli, wacinga iphone yakhe, wayiphuthuma. Xa sele isiyakuhlala, waqonda ukuba makaziphathele ubungutyana azithi wambu ngayo umqolo lo ngelixesha salinde isopholo yakhe. Ukufika kwakhe ekamerweni, wamkelwa ngoncumo yindoda kwaye sele ijule nalo gawun ibiyinxibile. Utata umfundisi lo ungezantsi sele eme ngenyawo oku kwenyoka ekrokrayo, kanti umama lo umthe tshe. Wazikhwelisa apha ebhedini naye, akayojikela kwela cala ukuyo thatha langutyana incinci, wazingqubekisa ngethanga apha kutata lo ungezantsi, weva futhi ukuba unyukile entshumayelweni. Zaa zama ukuphuthaphutha izandla zika tata umfundisi kodwa zafika sekwaphulwe, ngoba wayesele ejika umama eyifumene le ayifunayo, wehla ngoku. Waguq ngedolo utata ebhedini buphuthuphuthu.
Pastro: “Uyaphi ngoku nkosikazi?” Mamfundisi: “Ndiyeza wethu tata ndilinde!” Pastor: “De ubuye kaloku, ndiyakufuna apha! Andizukuyimela ke leyo mna” Mamfundisi: “Boke uzifundise ukulinda, ndithe ndiyeza”
Gwije ukuyotshona etivi rum umamzo sele ekuWhatsapp kakade. Wakhangela igama lika Brothe Mpumezo ngokukhawuleza. Suke yanga kuqine iminwe, abangathi amagama okanye amaqhosha akacofeki. Zona zabe zininzi imessages kodwa wayefuna lo amfunayo. Bingo! Wamfumana! Luckily, he was ONLINE. Wabobotheka kwa oko umama webandla.
Mamfundisi: (Whatsapp) “Brother brother brother” Mpumezo: “Mamzo wam” Mamfundisi: “I miss you” Mpumezo: “Nam njena” Mamfundisi: “Ukhumbula ntoni?” Mpumezo: “Wena mamzo ukhumbula ntoni?” Mamfundisi: “Ndiqale ndabuza, ayibuzani kaloku” Mpumezo: “Ndikhumbula wena mamzo” Mamfundisi: “Ukuthini kwam? Khawuyeke ukuthi mnyamzo maarn apha kum! Ukhumbula ntoni” Mpumezo: “Ha! Ha! Ha! Ndithini ke mama umfundisi?” Mamfundisi: “Yithi lovewam, babywam, sweetheart okanye nokuba leliphi igama elimnandi wethu! Ndikhumbula umqwathi ngoku mna” Mpumezo: “He! He! He! Ewe nhe! You were great emini love, thank you for coming” Mamfundisi: “nam I had fun baby, you were such a tiger and u were great!” Mpumezo: “Ndincoma wena mna love, kuyacaca uyintaka endala” Mamfundisi: “Haaaaaaaa! Xa ndinokuthi yizondithatha ngoku ungathini?” Mpumezo: “Ungathi uyaphi kuqala apho kutata?” Mamfundisi: “Ha! Ha! Ha!” Mpumezo: “And I mean. Its nearly 12 mid-night ke” Mamfundisi: “uyayazi ukuba ndihleli etivi rum ngoku? Ndipheka umngqusho and awukabili nobila, nankuya yena ebatywe yedwa pha ebhedini” Mpumezo: “Hay'bo mamzo! Uzoba nesono kodwa haybo!” Mamfundisi: “Kanti akazuchola naphantsi and andizuya kwangoku kwapha ebhedini” Mpumezo: “Kutheni upheka umngqusho kewena elixesha?” Mamfundisi: “Lonto undinukela kakubi ke nalo mngqusho ndini! Andizutya lonto mna!” Mpumezo: “Uwuphekela ni ke wena?” Mamfundisi: “Hay ndihambisa ixesha wethu and ndizakufika sendihluthi pha ebhedini ndinamahlaba” Mpumezo: “Haaaaaaaaaa! Ha.a wena ungcolile kodwa nje!” Mpumezo: “Tjiooo! Indlela le endibawela ukumuncwa nguwe maaarn! Kule seti yam ndihleli ngomsila, bulala kanje. Oh nkosi yam, sele ndiyivulile imilenze yam, omnye ndiwubeke phezu kweseti ndawunabisa, omnye ndiwunabise wabheka pha qha ndingakhab'ihitha yam, lontloko yakhe ingene yaphelela kulamathanga am, isibunzi sakho sise sineneni sam, impumlo yakho iphefumlela kulendawo ithanda untushuza,, olowimi lwakho ube ulibethe lwaqphelela kusisi wam! Yhoooooooooooo!” Mpumezo: “Uzakundimosha ke ngoku nana, ndilala ndodwa kaloku man! Eish” Mamfundisi: “Ndikurhalela ngoku mna baby! And ndizogqitha apha kuwe ekuseni, andinakuqhubeka nosuku ndingakhange ndikuphe, ndifuna senze esasityle senja, yhooooo! Undiphe kamnandi maaaan! Kaloku andiphiwa zitayle kaloku. Le ndoda nguguquka ndenze kaloku. Weeeeeena! Yhoooo!” Mpumezo: “Ha! Ha! Ha! Ay ndiyakuva nana” Mamfundisi: “Jonga, awufuni ke siphume iweekend? Sike sibe nethuba elaneleyo sobabini! Lonto unento enkulu maaarn! Kanye le ifunwa ndim! Yima! Ingathi uyeza, ndiva ukutshixiza kwezihlangu”
Wakhawulezisa umamfundisi wayitshava ngaphantsi kwalengubo ayombathileyo la phone, jike wazirhonisa. Wangena utata, esahamba ngalampahla incinci yangaphantsi. Wayesanantsikelwe ke utata lo. Weza kucaca ukuba noko ngoku unawo umsindo.
Pastor: “Ulele ngoku wena? Bendingathanga yiza ebhedini?” Mamfundisi: (Ezolula oku komntu ovuswe ethongoland engekoneli) “Ndiyeza tata wethu”
Akazange athethe umfundisi, weza kuye ngoku alapha esetini. Waye engasakwazi ukuzibamba, ede wabila nebunzi eli.
Pastor: “awuyazi indlela endikukhumbula ngayo maaarn nkosi kazi! Ndide ndiyaphela! Khawenze kaloku yini. Sekupase no12 ngoku, kunini ndilindile”
Wazama ukumbambabamba unkosikazi wakhe utata, suke ezo zandla zakhe zasuswa zajulwa pha kude. Wazama uphopho kucaca ukuba noko ubethwa yimeko, nalapho naaazo jwiii phaya kude ezozandla zinkulu ezndoda kathixo. Wazama ukucenga, wazama ukubamba bamba kwakhona hayi akulungi. Suke waphakama umama lo, wayokha amanzi esinkini, wabuya necephe, wagalela, wazamisa, wabuyela entla. Suke wahla kwisitulo setafile yokutyela. Yanguye nephone, embi ebusweni.
Pastor: “Ayikho ke le noko! Kutheni nkosikazi?” Mamfundisi: “Akhonto! Ndithe kuwe ndilambile! Ndisiniwe! Andiyazi ke ngoku endiyenzileyo” Pastor: “Ndiyindoda yakho! Fanele xa ndifuna ukuphiwa, ndiphiwe!” Mamfundisi: “nam ndingumfazi wakho! Fanele xa ndifuna ukuphiwa nguwe nam, ndiphiwe! Imoshakale phi ke? Ngoba awundiphi! Usoloko udiniwe! Nam, ndidiniwe akundiboni?”
Mpumezo: (Whatsapp) “Hay'nana ndiyalala ngoku! Awuphenduli moss” Mamfundisi: “Tyhini! Akufuni kundilala esetini lo, akabatywanga uphambe! Ide ithe phuhlu ninto yakhe!” Mpumezo: “Mphe kaloku haybo” Mamfundisi: “Asoze, ndanele yileyo yakho! Besides ndilapho kusasa before ndiye espan ke uvile! Ngo 6am ke” Mpumezo: “Yho! That gives me less than 6hours to prepare moss” Mamfundisi: “Ewe nana wam! Ulale kakuhle”
Pastor: “Ufuna ndithi nkosikazi? Noko yipunishment le undifaka kuyo, ayinyamezeleki...!”
Mamfundisi: “Ivele ibe njalo nakum! Imnandi ke?”
Sibonane kwixa elizayo....!
#DOUO
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